Losing Literary Idols

Losing Literary Idols

Within a two-week period last month I lost two of my favorite writers: Wendell Berry, who died August 31st, and Annie Dillard, who passed away on September 15th. I’ve already written about both of them on the blog and elsewhere. My Annie Dillard appreciation appears today in the Washington Independent Review of Books. My Berry essay ran last month.

I write here more generally about literary idols and the power they can have in your life. How many times have I pulled a Berry or a Dillard volume from my shelf? I still have their books, of course, but now there is no promise of more. Their work on earth is done.

For the first 14 years of this blog, I used a quotation from Dillard’s An American Childhood as the frontispiece: “When everything else is gone from my brain … what will be left, I believe, is topology, the dreaming memory of land as it lay this way or that.” Her writing never failed to inspire me, to jumpstart a writing day or encourage me in a down moment.

As for Berry, I sought him out for clarity and tone. His prose heartened me, convinced me I could say what I wanted to say, as long as I was direct and pulled no punches.

I feel bereft without these writers. I take comfort in the work they left behind.

(Dillard and Berry share a shelf in my office library)

Little Feet, Big Hike

Little Feet, Big Hike

Yesterday’s walk was through the woods with two young hikers, ages 6 and 4. They could almost match their grandparents’ strides but they wanted to stop a lot, especially by the creek.

Our first stream bed foray was early on, when they begged to jump down and see the water. We complied, and found it dry enough to follow the bed for a few paces, dodging the few wet patches. We noted the bedrock and the roots of a giant oak, now exposed by erosion.

After finding a convenient way up to dry ground, we tramped along the path, looking for deer, which were strangely absent — probably at our house nibbling ground cover. The children waved their sticks and chatted so loudly that I’m sure all the forest animals were hiding, having heard us coming a mile away.

Our second dip down the creek’s bank came after we discovered a new plank bridge and tap-danced on it. This was a larger tributary, with plenty of water for stirring and even a sandy bottom, near where tadpoles swim in spring.

When we made the turn for home, their grandfather and I were more grateful than they were. Their energy seems unlimited, ours is not.

New Walk in Town

New Walk in Town

The new walk in town is a flirt, a tease. You never know exactly where it will take you.

You stop at a crossroads. A path leads to the left, tree-shaded, inviting, but something tells you to stay straight. You realize a few paces up that it wouldn’t have mattered if you’d taken that turn because the two trails flowed together anyway. But when you’re first getting to know each other you don’t know that, and it’s exciting.

The new walk in town is of indeterminate length. Or at least you don’t know how long it is the first few times you take it. It seems to go on forever, but that’s just because you don’t understand it.

The new walk in town is a feast of discovery. Sudden glimpses of lake water, enchanting townhouses tucked away on treed lots, a pair of swings in a meadow. All new, all precious.

In time, this trail will be as calibrated as all the others. You will know just how long it takes to walk around Lake Thoreau. But until then, it will be shiny and bright: the new walk in town.

5,000!

5,000!

I almost missed this milestone. I don’t pay attention to stats as much since I moved the blog to its new quarters. But a few weeks ago I noticed I was once again edging up to a nice round total of posts —5,000 in this case — and decided to celebrate.

Five thousand may seem a pittance in a world of AI. Heck, I could have Claude pen hundreds of posts a day with a few prompts. But imperfect human writing is all you’ll ever read here, which means some mornings the muse is nowhere to be found. I start writing, check email or brew a cup of tea. The essay I’m working on calls to me, or I decide to walk first, write later.

In other words, distractions abound. But most days, and every weekday, I publish. I notice a cloud, a bird, a single autumn leaf — and describe it here. It’s what I do. Someday, a few years from now, I hope I’ll be penning my 6,000th post.

Time Optimism

Time Optimism

I always try to work one more task into the time at hand. Perish the thought of arriving early. I like to scribble one more paragraph, crochet one more row, send one more email. As a result I’m often five minutes late when I could easily have been on time. 

Why is this? Turns out, the condition has a name: I’m a time optimist or tidsoptimist, which means the same thing in Swedish (where it has apparently been identified and studied).

I first heard about time optimism from my youngest daughter, herself a time optimist, a skill she no doubt picked up from me. We have gotten many laughs talking about our “condition.”

What is the cure for this tidsoptimism? I’m not sure, but it’s definitely not trying to answer five emails, read the paper, and write a blog post in 30 minutes.

Origin Stories

Origin Stories

It’s a Wednesday that feels like a Tuesday, because Monday felt like Sunday and yesterday seemed like Monday. This happens every week we have a three-day holiday, but this time there’s something extra: a national identity crisis.

I noticed in Maine that the second Monday in October is called Indigenous People’s Day. Apparently, 17 states and D.C. acknowledge the original settlers of this great land. Many don’t want to honor colonizers in any way, including Viking ones. (There has been a movement to create a Leif Erikson Day.)

The national identity crisis affects work and vacation schedules. In my family, one daughter didn’t have the day off, another used to have it off but now has Juneteenth instead, and the third, a federal employee, was off. She observed part of the holiday here with her family. (That was the best part of Columbus Day.)

Paid holidays aren’t as important to me as they once were, but I do care about origin stories, and ours is looking shaky these days.

Fade to Blue

Fade to Blue

Books leave traces, contrails of thought, like plumes of exhaust from a jet plane. One that remains from Michael Pollan’s A World Appears is that the best time to catch ourselves in a state of pure awareness is right after waking. It lasts only seconds, then the mind fills with worries, thoughts, to-dos.

But for those first few moments, we are awake, alive — but not yet us. We observe ourselves in a state of pure being.

Since reading Pollan’s book I try to catch myself in that state. This morning I felt that I did for an instant. Inspired, I walked down the hall into the spare room where I write.

In the sky a single star shone from between treetops that were just emerging from darkness, a point of light millions of miles away from my apple green desk, my petty worries, my little life.

I put pen to paper. The words flowed. When I looked up to find the star again, it had faded to blue.

After Isaias

After Isaias

I’m just back from a walk after the rains of Hurricane Isaias. The storm lost strength as it headed inland, but still managed to soak us from Saturday night till early this morning.

We received several inches of much-needed rain, but could use even more, I’ve learned.

Still, there’s a fresh breeze and a feeling of satiation. We have branches and leaf clumps to pick up, but so far (touch wood) no major limbs lost. The wind is picking up even as I type these words. I hope it behaves itself.

The Anne of Lake Anne

The Anne of Lake Anne

I can’t remember when it dawned on me that most people named Anne are not spring chickens. For a while “Anne” seemed to be the air I breathed. My grandmother was Ann — without an e, a travesty my mother corrected when she named me — and classmates (and their mothers) were also named Anne. It also made a handy middle name.

When I shared an apartment after college, it was with my friend Anne. We lived on the second floor of a house in Chicago’s Lincoln Park neighborhood. Below us lived another Ann, who said she didn’t need an “e” in her name. We pretended to be shocked by that, but of course did not believe her for a second. Every Anne needed an “e,” as far as we were concerned.

Funny … I didn’t intend this post to be about Annes, only about Lake Anne, which I walked around yesterday. It’s named for Reston founder Robert E. Simon’s then wife, Anne Wertheim Simon. She was a writer who penned articles for McCall’s, where I was an editor, and her sister was historian and author Barbara Tuchman.

Next time I walk around Lake Anne, I’ll be thinking about Anne Simon, the namesake of this charming body of water.

Autumn on Foot

Autumn on Foot

The light is fading but it’s primo walking weather. I’ve stepped out the last couple of days into low-humidity afternoons with the kind of blue skies that throw anything in front of them — roofs, tree tops, telephone poles — into high relief.

We have scant fall color here but the crispy, brown leaves that collect along the sides of the trail make the most delicious crunching sound when I tromp over them.

Mornings have been cool enough (the 40s!) that I’ve postponed outdoor activities till later in the day, which gives me time for “brain work” early. I’ve needed it.

And speaking of that, let the brain work proceed ….

(Footbridge in a brown wood.)