A Memoir of Friendship

A Memoir of Friendship


My office is closed, the year is winding down. I wake up and realize: There is no place I have to be, nothing I have to do. And so, I read.

I just finished Let’s Take the Long Way Home by Gail Caldwell. Subtitled “A Memoir of Friendship,” it chronicles the author’s relationship with the late Caroline Knapp. I read Knapp’s book Drinking: A Love Story a while ago and enjoyed it so much I immediately searched for other books she’d written. I was sad to learn of her death of lung cancer at age 42. Especially sad because Knapp had beaten anorexia and alcoholism — only to be beaten by cancer.

I approached Caldwell’s book warily at first, since she covers ground Knapp covered in her writing — addiction to alcohol, love of dogs. But I warmed to the author and to the friendship she shared with Knapp and by the end of the book was completely hooked. By sharing her fears and her inside jokes and even her occasional spats with Knapp, Caldwell brings her friend to life, the slant of Knapp’s back as she rowed on the Charles River, her habit of playing computer solitaire during a boring phone conversation.

Like all good memoirs, though, the book is about much more than the subjects at hand. It is ultimately a lens through which we view ourselves and those we love.

“Every story in life worth holding on to has to have a spirit line. You can call this hope or tomorrow or the ‘and then’ of narrative itself, but without it — without that bright, dissonant fact of the unknown, of what we cannot control — consciousness and everything with it would tumble inward and implode. The universe insists that what is fixed is also finite.”

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