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The Deep

The Deep

The sounds of a party filled the place: laughter, conversation, the clink of glasses. But step away from the main room and it was another world. 

Sharks patrol their waters with ruthless intensity. Rainbow fish flit to and fro, a blue starfish pulsing in their tank. Porcupine fish bristle. And stingrays glide through the water like so many fluttering handkerchiefs. 

At the entrance, schools of sea creatures swim to the left of us, to the right of us, and above us, too. It was a dramatic entry into another world, a world of the deep.

Thoughts on the Fourth

Thoughts on the Fourth

On one of my first trips abroad, the passengers in the airplane burst into applause when we landed back in the U.S. It wasn’t a difficult landing or an especially long flight. But it was a less jaded age, and I, novice flyer, started clapping, too.

I had more mixed feelings re-entering the U.S. a week ago. While we were away there were more mass shootings, several disturbing Supreme Court rulings (one of which produced equally disturbing vandalism at my Catholic church last week), and explosive testimony about the actions of our former president. 

I love my country, but three weeks away from it was refreshing. I read no newspapers, watched no televised news. I took a break from our Weltschmerz, an Old World term that has become a surprisingly apt way to describe our not-so-new problems. 

Tyranny, inequality and intolerance have always been with us. Many came here in hopes of escaping them. But they are part of the human conditions, and they have followed us here. 

In my optimistic moments I still think the grand experiment that is the United States of America can weather these difficult, polarizing times. But it will take our efforts and our prayers and our sacrifice to do so. I hope we are up to the task. 

Memorial Day x 2

Memorial Day x 2

Today, Memorial Day falls on Memorial Day — May 30, that is. Perhaps it is doubly Memorial Day, then, Memorial Day x 2. 

I looked for photos of Washington, D.C., to celebrate the occasion and came up with these from a nighttime visit to the monuments with work colleagues in October of 2018. 

Notice how the emblems of our democracy shine out as darkness surrounds them. Perhaps a fitting metaphor for this day, this year. 

On Midwives and Texas

On Midwives and Texas

In my mind now are snippets of the music played in “Call the Midwife.” Not just the opening tune, but the crescendo that signals a baby is about to be born, the whimsical notes that accompany Fred the handyman, and the ecclesiastical chords that sound whenever the nuns gather to pray.

All of this suggests that I watch a little too much “Call the Midwife” — and on that point I plead guilty — but there’s a reason why I do. And it’s worth mentioning on this day we’re all grieving the tragic loss of life in Texas.

“Call the Midwife” takes place in the East End of London in the 1960s. Watching it whisks me into a completely different world from the one I inhabit. It’s a world of poverty, to be sure, but also a world of community. It is not a world without violence but it’s a world where police are armed only with billy clubs and the only children who die are rare ones who, despite the best efforts of the midwives and doctors, do not survive a difficult birth. 

I started re-watching the show a few weeks ago when I was feeling under the weather because it never fails to buoy me up. And you can bet I watched an episode last night to calm myself down. The show distracted me from the thoughts swirling around in my mind so I could fall asleep. But now it’s morning and the thoughts are back:

When will we do something about the gun violence in this country? Whatever it is, it won’t be enough. But it will be a start. And without it … well, I just don’t know what will become of us.

Tallying…

Tallying…

Over the weekend, a milestone: it’s been a year since I started this new life. The temptation is to tally up the “accomplishments,” to see if I’ve earned this freedom. 

But the “freedom” is already teaching me not to add up accomplishments, to see that as exactly the sort of mindset I was trying to escape. 

Instead, I’m remembering the farewell message I sent my colleagues in April of 2021. I told them that I was leaving to “write, study and travel.” And lo and behold, writing, studying and traveling is exactly what I’ve been doing. 

So the only tallying I’m doing today is … the counting of blessings. 

Orthodox Easter

Orthodox Easter

They entered the ornate cathedrals, slogging through rubble to get there. One photograph shows a country church and a lone woman entering with a basket. Another shows a hastily assembled altar, soldiers in fatigues. 

It was Easter yesterday in Ukraine, but the shelling and the funerals continue. The message of a suffering savior and a glorious resurrection, the promise of eternal life, was delivered amidst the smoke and the terror. 

For us,  the war in Ukraine is a story we read in a newspaper, a report we watch on television. Switch off the screen, put down the paper … and it goes away.

For the brave souls in Ukraine, there is no pause, no end to the horror. For them, for now, war is life.  

Earth Day

Earth Day

How wise were the Earth Day founders to honor our “other mother” on this day, in this season (at least for those of us in the northern hemisphere). 

For who can ignore the earth on a day like this: just warming, just greening, filled with eye-popping color.

With tender shoots and delicate blossoms.

Still far too many of us, I’m afraid.

3,700!

3,700!

It’s a cool, rainy Easter Monday, perfect for catching the breath and putting away the good china.

Over the weekend, I realized that the blog hit a milestone: 3, 700 posts. I love it when the numbers sneak up on me. 

Blog writing is such a daily, piecemeal endeavor that I forget the dribbles and drabs add up to something. 

On milestone days, I remember that they do. 

Terror in the Tunnel

Terror in the Tunnel

For 15 years I was a Metro commuter, riding the Orange Line train from Vienna to the District and, later, to the Crystal City area of Arlington. Before that, long before that,  I rode the New York City subway whenever I wasn’t walking through the Big Apple. 

All of which is to say, I’ve spent way too many hours/days/years (?) of my life riding the rails of some underground transport system or the other. I mastered the art of looking the other way when disturbed people entered my car and began hectoring fellow riders — or of slipping away entirely and hopping on an adjacent car when matters seemed to be spiraling out of control. 

I can only imagine yesterday’s horror on the N Train in Brooklyn: the smoke, the shooting, the blood, the panic. Terror has erupted, this time in a subway tunnel. Not to be gloomy, but it’s only a matter of time before it erupts somewhere else again.

Russian Rhumba

Russian Rhumba

We lost Dad eight years ago today. He was spared the pandemic, the University of Kentucky’s Thursday night loss to the St. Peter Peacocks in the first round of NCAA basketball, and now, the worst street fighting in Europe since World War II. 

I wondered this morning, what he would say about Ukraine? I imagine he would think we should be doing more, but he would also recognize the difficulty and delicacy of the U.S. position.

I do know he would be retelling one of his favorite WWII stories, about the time he visited Mirgorod as part of the shuttle bombing missions known as Operation Frantic. 

Dad was in the second of those runs, which departed England on June 21, 1944, part of a task force that included 114 B-17 bombers and 70 P-51 fighters, which Dad (and many others) called “little friends.” I probably owe my existence to these little friends since their addition to the war halted the unsustainable losses of the heavy bombers and their crews. 

Dad’s plane, part of the 95th Bomb Group, landed in Mirgorod, which, as Dad later wrote in an article he called “Russian Rhumba” published in a bomb group newsletter, proved to be a good decision. The 43 B-17s that landed in Poltava were destroyed in an overnight raid by the Luftwaffe, and, says Dad, “it didn’t take a Ph.D. in foreign affairs from Harvard to see the outrageous deception of our Russian allies.” 

Dad ended up flying deeper into the Ukrainian section of the Soviet Union, landing in what was then known as Kharkov and spending a few days with Russian soldiers. One of them “wanted to exchange firearms with me,” Dad wrote. “I was wearing a G.I. 45 and he was wearing a Russian issue. Needless to say, I had to say nyet to that proposal.”

Reading this story, so full of “Dad’isms” that make me smile and cry at the same time, is a good thing to do today, when our hearts reach out to the descendants of those people my father met so many years ago.