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For the Women

For the Women

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On this, the last day of Women’s History Month, I’m thinking about the women in my life: my daughters, sister and mother, my sisters-in-law, grandmothers, aunts and cousins.

I’m thinking about my women friends, so many dear ones, some I’ve known since high school and college, others of more recent vintage. 

I’m thinking about the women I’ve met on travels around the world, women tackling enormous problems with grace and good cheer.

How strong these women are, kind and capable and funny. Yesterday, still mulling over the tragedy in Nashville and lawmakers’ tepid response to it, I thought, if women were in charge, we would do something about it. 

First, we would not be in the same dire predicaments if women were running the world. But even if we were, we would be facing them differently, more collaboratively and courageously. 

I could be wrong, of course. Maybe women would fall into the same traps that men do. But I don’t think so. And I hope one day we have a chance to find out.

(I met these women from Ntcheu, Malawi, in December 2018.)

A Few Words on Nashville

A Few Words on Nashville

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I generally avoid writing about political topics here, thinking that we get enough of those from other sources. But it’s hard stay quiet about the latest school shooting. Three nine-year-olds! A principal, custodian and substitute teacher! People who love children doing their best to keep them safe. 

If we take a long view of history, the 2020s are not an especially violent time. But if we start with the world in which most of us grew up, then the fact that three months into 2023 we’ve already had 130 mass shootings (defined as four or more people killed), or the fact that one in 20 Americans owns at least one AR-15 rifle, a gun designed for military use, it’s hard to argue that our society isn’t violent. 

As it happens, the Washington Post began a series on the AR-15 on Monday. It was the lead story on the Post website … until the Nashville school shooting took that prime position. 

Undoubtedly, many factors are producing these mass shootings: mental illness, social media, a culture of celebrity, a lack of belonging. The people who are perpetrating these acts, often little more than children themselves (though not in this case), are usually loners, people who in their final acts seek the notoriety they hope will make up for the anonymity in which they’ve lived. Banning assault weapons would not solve all of our problems. But it would be a huge start. 

I keep thinking about the Covenant parents sending their children off to school in their plaid uniforms, backpacks and lunchboxes in tow. Those parents were expecting to see their kids back home Monday afternoon. They would have offered them a snack, nagged them about homework, given them a hug. Instead, they had to identify their bodies. 

We are the adults. We’re supposed to keep our children safe. And we’re not doing our job. It’s as simple — and as horrifying — as that. 

The Beauty

The Beauty

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I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve trekked around the Tidal Basin to see Washington, D.C.’s cherry trees in bloom. More times than I can count, for sure. I’ve seen the trees with toddlers in tow, with Mom long ago, but for the last many years, I’ve seen the blossoms alone, usually before or after work.

Yesterday I went down early, as if it were still a workday for me, wanting to beat the crowds. I snapped photos of people, not just blossoms, because it’s the people I notice year after year. Old and young, nimble and slow-moving. The amateur photographers and the serious, long-lensed people, too. 

There was a woman in a strapless dress with a pink parasol. She made a lovely focal point for this amateur photographer, but she must have been cold. I was wearing three layers. 

If you look closely at her, you’ll notice the water lapping nearly at her feet. Some parts of the path were completely submerged and pedestrians had to detour up a little hill until the trail reappeared. There have been articles lately about the peril the blossoms face with rising sea levels and early blooms. 

But when I saw the trees again, I wasn’t thinking about the peril—just appreciating the beauty. 

To Be in Ireland

To Be in Ireland

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Truth to tell, I don’t think St. Patty’s is the day I’d want to be in Ireland, if I was given a choice of going any day of the year. But it’s on this day especially that my thoughts turn to the “auld sod.” 

A place where the faces look familiar and the landscape is magical. 

Where hearths are warm,  pubs are lively, 

And breakfasts to die for …

Come to think of it, maybe I would go to Ireland today.

The Fact Checker

The Fact Checker

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Do facts matter? How integral are they to the underlying truth? These questions and more were raised in the one-act play “The Lifespan of a Fact,” which I saw last night with journalist friends.

The play and book on which it is based raise all sorts of questions about literary license, rights of authorship and fiction versus nonfiction. But for me it was also a trip down memory lane, as I recalled a fact checker I worked with at McCall’s magazine. 

Carmen had a quick laugh and a determined air. She wore well-tailored skirts and blouses, and everything about her was precise, from her sturdy pumps to her tidy bob. When she appeared at my desk with a manuscript covered in red ink and pencil marks I always wanted to slink down into my chair, down, down, down until I could slide under my desk and hide out there a while. 

Too late, of course. Carmen knew I was there. And even if she didn’t, she would hunt me down just as she did every fact in every article. I’m not a sloppy reporter, but everyone trembled in Carmen’s wake. In a pre-Internet era, fact-checking was no easy task, but Carmen and her minions made sure that every piece in the magazine was shipshape and gospel-true. There were no questions about the lifespan of those facts. 

Love and Whimsy

Love and Whimsy

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A long walk yesterday along a Reston path, the Cross-County Trail, then around Lake Audubon and back to the car. 

It was one of those hybrid walks that I enjoy for its variety. 

Along the way, this Valentine’s surprise attached to a fence post. A tribute to the power of love … and of whimsy. 

23,000

23,000

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23,000. The number flares, it burns a hole in the mind. The pain it represents. The terrible loss of life from earthquakes in Turkey and Syria and the human misery left in their wake.

The earthquake that struck Lisbon on November 1, 1755, occurred before there were ways to measure temblors, but it’s estimated to have been as high as 8.0 on the Richter scale. Estimated loss of life: 30,000 to 50,000. 

The event widened an already wide rift in European intellectual life as philosophers like Voltaire challenged optimism and belief in a loving and engaged God.  

Natural events ripple through history. How, I wonder, will this current one ripple through time? 

(An engraving of the Lisbon earthquake and tsunami that followed. Courtesy Wikipedia. Four days after I posted this,  the death toll in Syria and Turkey reached 41,000.)

Turning 13!

Turning 13!

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It seems just the other day it was toddling around, cutting its first teeth, skinning its knees. Now my blog has plunged headlong into its teenage years. Thirteen years ago today I wrote the first post for A Walker in the Suburbs, thinking that I might write every so often and coax it along for a year or two.

In the same way that parents of a newborn can’t picture sitting in the passenger seat as their “baby” drives a car, so could I not imagine my blog turning 13.  

But the years pass, and the quest for toys becomes the quest for boys … and here we are. Will my blog start demanding the car keys? Will it sneak out the basement window? Will it hide a skimpy sweater in its backpack and change when it gets to school?  

All I can say is, I’m prepared for anything. 

Visits to Grandmother

Visits to Grandmother

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I awoke to a snow-globe world, a yard transformed by frozen precipitation that, at least as far as I knew, wasn’t predicted. It’s a perverse way to celebrate what would have been Mom’s 97th birthday. She would have hated the snow, as she did all winter weather. Another, better way to celebrate Mom’s birthday is with this guest post by her, a tradition I established after she died. In this except from a story Mom wrote years ago she talks about visits to her grandmother Concannon. Mom is pictured above, second from right, with her sisters and brother. 

I can still remember our silent rides to see Grandma every Sunday afternoon. Daddy drove us to her house on High Street in his big brown Pontiac with the yellow wire wheels. My sisters and brother and I would have rather been anywhere else in the world. The dread we felt mounted as we got ever closer to her home. 

Her door was usually unlocked (most doors were in those days), but my dad always knocked gently before he opened it and led us inside. Sometimes our grandmother stood to greet us, but often she didn’t get up from her high-back chair at the far end of the room, which to an impressionable child like me looked for all the world like a throne. We each said hello to this tiny woman my dad called Mama and she always answered with a similar hello followed by each of our names. I always wondered if she did that just to prove that she knew the three of us girls apart. 

After we spoke to her, we took our place in one of the small hard chairs along the walls and waited to be called on to speak. Once we were of school age we were always asked what we were studying and what we were reading on our own. I often rehearsed my answers silently on the way over, then gave them quickly and breathed a sigh of relief that it was over until the next Sunday.

Through all those years I watched Grandma and my dad together, mother and son, with so little to say to one another. Each bit of conversation between them was followed by a long period of silence. Although I did learn from listening that they both liked Franklin Roosevelt, were sure no other Irish tenor would ever replace John McCormick and didn’t believe in buying anything you couldn’t pay cash for, I was never able to figure out if they really loved each other. 

Grandma died when I was a senior in high school so she didn’t get to see me graduate from college, the first in our family to do so. I wish she had known. I think she would have been pleased.

Familiarity

Familiarity

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Some light rain, the sky a washed-out gray, tree limbs a study in contrast. I look outside as if at another world. The days have turned inward for me, as our dear dog Copper is ailing. 

It’s a comfort to glimpse the sparse azaleas, the ragged hollies. Even the open space where the tall oak stood is familiar now.

I know these places, these absences. My eyes rest easily on them, until I look inside again.