Browsed by
Category: family

Multiplicity

Multiplicity

Comments 0 Comment

When I was a full-time freelancer, I often wrote articles for Working Mother magazine. One of their mantras was that women (people in general, but their audience was women) are happier when they have multiple roles — when they’re not just mothers … but mothers and accountants or mothers and baristas or mothers and CEOs. Or, in my case, a mother and a writer.

So today, in addition to being grateful for another trip around the sun; in addition to being especially thankful that my family is together to celebrate — I’m also grateful for my work, for the opportunity I have to be creative for a good purpose, and for the new friends I’ve made around the globe.

Because it’s not just the work, it’s the many worlds it has opened for me. It’s another dimension of life that my own mother, as creative and work-oriented as she was, did not have.

Nothing is more important to me than my family, the amazing young women I’m proud to call my daughters. But I’m so filled with joy and gratitude that I live in a time when being a mother is not the only thing I am. The many roles I have a chance to play enrich my life daily. And today, especially, I’m so thankful that they do.

Postponed Post

Postponed Post

Comments 0 Comment

As the Seattlites sleep in (still on Pacific Daylight Time), I’ve lingered over my second cup of tea, which followed a long walk before the humidity began to surge, which followed almost eight hours of sleep.

This is what a life of leisure would be like, I tell myself (minus the time answering a couple work emails and putting up an away message).

I could get used to this.

(This posting was postponed by … people waking up and coming over!)

The Return

The Return

Comments 0 Comment

Apart from Suzanne’s long sojourn in Africa, I’ve never had one of my kids be away as long as Celia has. She left more than 11 months ago, bound for the Pacific Northwest. She’s built a new life for herself there.

But that doesn’t stop me from missing her.  The last time I saw her, she gave me a little charm, a small shell that someone had given her when she left for the West Coast. I’ve kept it close ever since.

When I miss her even more than usual, I stroke the whorls of the shell, lift it up and inhale its scent, hoping that some trace of hers lingers on it.

We miss our children differently than we do our spouses or our parents or our friends. There is a visceral longing at times — I just want to hold her, give her a huge hug.

And, God willing, later today, I will.

Grand Journey

Grand Journey

Comments 0 Comment

Mom and Dad would have been married 67 years today. They made it to their 61st, which is quite a long run by modern standards. I bet I’m the only person remembering this today. Maybe not. My sister or brothers might be remembering it, too.

I was thinking a lot about their honeymoon when Drew and I took our road trip a couple weeks ago. Mom and Dad were married in Lexington, Kentucky, their hometown, but they took off immediately in an old Chevy bound for California.

The roads were barely all paved in 1952 — the interstate highway program officially began the next year — and though they were fine if they stuck to Route 66 … they didn’t always do that. They were prone to taking detours to “Kit Carson’s Cave” and other spots that piqued their curiosity.

Still, they made it to the West Coast, where they planned to start their married life. It was glamorous and exciting … but it wasn’t home. A few weeks later, they turned around and drove back.

It was the beginning of a grand journey together — and I’m thinking about it, and them, today.

Two Graduations

Two Graduations

Comments 0 Comment

On Friday, I watched my son-in-law Appolinaire graduate from Northern Virginia Community College. Yesterday I watched my niece Maggie graduate from Johns Hopkins medical school. Two very special achievements, two very different graduations.

The Johns Hopkins ceremony was held at Meyerhoff Hall in downtown Baltimore, home of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra. The NOVA graduation was held at the outdoor concert venue Jiffy Lube Live, where you can hear Dead & Company or Wiz Khalifa. 
The Johns Hopkins event was only for Ph.D.’s and M.D.’s, so everyone was hooded. The NOVA event was only for associate degrees and certificates, so no one was hooded.
At Maggie’s graduation, the newly minted doctors rose and recited the Hippocratic Oath, which Maggie’s sharp-eyed great-aunt noticed did not include the phrase “First, do no harm.” (That’s because those words aren’t in the Hippocratic Oath.) 
At Appolinaire’s graduation, the dean asked graduates to “rock this house” as they answered a series of questions she posed to them. Questions like: How many of you were born in another country? How many of you speak a language other than English? How many of you are the first in your families to go to college? It looked like three-fourths of the graduates rose and cheered each time. I know that Appolinaire did.

What struck me most, however, was how in the deep-down important ways, these ceremonies were the same. The graduates grinned just as broadly, the families whooped and hollered just as loudly and “Pomp and Circumstance” (as usual) brought a tear to my eye.
An accomplishment is an accomplishment. I’m so proud of them both! 
Grandfather Clock

Grandfather Clock

Comments 0 Comment

It was almost dark when the four large boxes arrived. We knew they were on their way, and Tom was eagerly awaiting them. The boxes held a grandfather clock that’s been in his family for years. It sat in the hallway of the house where he was raised, then his sister Ginna took good care of it for more than a decade, and now, through her generosity, it sits in our living room.

So many memories of this clock, the hall it graced in the house in Indianapolis, the sights it has seen, the wonderful family that grew up around it.

There was some debate about where to put it, but the spot where it landed (or maybe a few more inches to the right!) makes it seem as if it always was there.

The arrival of such a timepiece, such a legacy, is big news indeed, and I’m sure I’ll have more to say about it in posts to come. But I wanted to welcome it today — and note that although it hasn’t run in years, it was set up at 9 p.m. on the nose. Which is exactly the hour it marks.

To Go Through

To Go Through

Comments 0 Comment

A standing joke in my parents’ house was the phrase “To Go Through” scribbled in marker across the top of a cardboard box. It meant a reprieve for my mother, a postponement of the not-always inevitable; for my dad it meant more clutter.

Mom wasn’t a hoarder, but she never saw a box she couldn’t fill. And she didn’t fill them in an organized way. They were stuffed hurriedly, before a party or the arrival of visitors, and pell-mell, with a jumble of newspapers, junk mail and the occasional treasure — an envelope of photos or handwritten note.

Though Mom did have time in later years to go through some of these boxes, to sort and toss (though never as much of the latter as Dad would have liked), there were still plenty of these “to go through” boxes when she and Dad were both gone.

I went through a few of them last weekend. There were birthday cards, a spool of gold thread, the front page of the Lexington Herald-Leader with the banner headline “Clinton Impeached.” There were notebooks and ledgers and an ancient bill from my college infirmary when I had strep throat my senior year.

Did these discoveries “spark joy”? Sometimes. More often, they sparked tears. But after a couple of hours I had winnowed the contents of two boxes into one. I had “gone through.” And that was good enough for me.

We Brake for Trees

We Brake for Trees

Comments 0 Comment

I can’t remember how we discovered Snicker’s Gap, the Christmas tree farm in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. But I do know that Claire (pictured below with her puppy Bella; her beau, Tomas; and their older doggie, Reese) was in middle school. So it’s been a few years.

And in those few years, a few other people have caught on that trekking out to the country and felling your own fragrant Douglas fir provides more seasonal cheer than driving to the shopping center at the corner and choosing a tree from the parking lot. We did that often, too, when the children were younger. But Snicker’s Gap has been the tradition for 15 years now.

What’s become abundantly clear, especially since yesterday, is that many others have made the same calculation. We waited 30 minutes to get into the place. The lesson for next year: Leave earlier, arrive later … or find a nice tree in a lot somewhere.

Gratitude on Ice

Gratitude on Ice

Comments 0 Comment

It’s one of the coldest Thanksgivings on record here, with wind chills in the teens and temperatures that won’t make it out of the 30s. A perfect day to stay inside, chop onions, peel potatoes and baste the turkey, all in a steamy kitchen.

Though it’s tempting to put heat at the top of the list of things I’m most grateful for today, I’m going to push it aside for friends and family. We haven’t celebrated Thanksgiving here for a couple of years, Suzanne and Appolinaire having stepped in as the hosts with the most lately, but today the clan (minus Celia, who’s in Seattle) is gathering here, and by late afternoon there will be a full house.

It has lately been made clear to me (as if I didn’t already know it), just how important family and friends are. Not just for celebrations like today’s, but for the dreary mornings and frantic evenings of life. So on a day for giving thanks, my heart is full of love for the people who make life worth living for me. Not just today but every day.

A Birthday, an Anniversary

A Birthday, an Anniversary

Comments 0 Comment

The birthday of an oldest child is also an anniversary of parenthood. I celebrate a big one today.

I’ve been reliving the days and weeks leading up to Suzanne’s birth — how I’d wanted her to see the autumn leaves, but how the trees were almost bare by the time she was born in Concord, Massachusetts, on October 23. It didn’t dawn on me at the time that (in addition to the fact that she would be a newborn and focusing no further than the faces in front of her!) we wouldn’t always live there. I had no idea that by her first birthday we’d be living in Virginia, where the leaves have barely started changing in late October.

But here we are — and more to the point, here she is. After years in Africa, Suzanne now lives with her husband only 20 miles away. It’s only one of many amazing zigs (zags?) of the marvelously zigzagging road of parenthood. Which began for me (gulp!) 30 years ago today.

Happy Birthday, Suzanne!