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Category: gratitude

Luck of the Irish

Luck of the Irish

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Most people assume my Irish roots come from Dad’s side of the family. Something about the last name of Cassidy tips them off, I guess! But Dad’s family has been in Kentucky for generations, perhaps since the Revolutionary War, and he always seemed surprised when someone thought he hailed from the auld sod. 

Mom was the Irish one. She was proud of her lineage and traced her Concannon, Scott, Long and Hughes roots back to Counties Clare and Galway. She made us wear little green shamrocks made of green pipe-cleaners every March 17, back when it wasn’t cool to be green.

But it’s Dad I want to write about this morning. He would be 98 today, so I’ve been thinking about him and his way of looking at the world. 

Dad was an optimist and an extrovert who took joy in ordinary pleasures: his first cup of coffee in the morning (“ah, Brazilian novocaine,” he would say), a bowl of popcorn after dinner, his wife and children and grandchildren, whom he adored. 

He never tired of telling us how lucky he was to be our father, a compliment I threw right back at him as I grew older and (sort of) wiser. But he was lucky in the way that many of his generation were: tried and tested by early hardship and provided with free college, a low-cost mortgage and a trip to Europe aboard the Queen Elizabeth courtesy of Uncle Sam (though he had to fly 35 missions in a B-17 bomber to pay for it).

Most of all, though, he made his own luck. When the tough times came, which they did, Dad just plowed through them. Gratitude came easily to him. Luck, too. Whether it was from being “Irish” or just from being Dad, I’ll never know.

A Triumph

A Triumph

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I’m writing this on the deck, pushing it a little since the thermometer says it’s 44 , but doing it anyway because it’s so gorgeous out here that I don’t want to be inside. 

The grass is bright green and striped with shadows from the still-low sun. The trees have their earliest leaves, tender and golden. 

The azaleas have burst into bloom — the lavender one along the back of the house, the bifurcated pink one beside the trampoline, and the fuchsia one in the middle of the garden — a mistake in terms of landscaping but a triumph from the azalea’s point of view. 

Knowing how rare such moments of perfection are, I plan to sit here a moment, sip my tea and be grateful for every bit of birdsong. 

Focus

Focus

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In the Headspace journey I’m taking courtesy of a program at work, we just finished a 30-day course on finding focus. We learned that focus in not something you must learn and strive for; it’s something you already have. 

Finding focus means attending to the moment, losing yourself in the here and now. It’s like an image used at the beginning of the Headspace program, one of blue sky and clouds. Blue sky is always there, but clouds hide it, just as the stresses of daily living block the natural calm that can be ours if we learn to still ourselves. 

This morning we take another, more advanced course on mindfulness. I’m grateful for these opportunities — because there’s never been a better time to master the art of living in the here and now. 

After This?

After This?

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Sometimes I try to envision what our lives will be like coming out of this. I believe that eventually, once there’s a vaccine and treatment, they will be somewhat the same. More chastened, more grateful, I hope, but similar to what we used to have. People are social creatures, after all. We want to be together.

But until we feel safe doing that, we will wear masks and stay mostly to ourselves. This is a poverty. It’s a shrinking of our lives rather than an expansion of them. It’s hard to stay aware of all the possibilities the world holds while we’re in this cloistered state.


The life we had is a world I miss every day; we all do. A world we lost so quickly, almost with the hair-trigger quickness of a bomb exploding. All it took was a wily, tenacious pathogen.

What I hope most of all is that this pathogen, like so much else, doesn’t succeed in pushing us farther apart, but instead pulls us together. All evidence suggests that it will split us up. But I’m an optimist; I like to believe that common sense and human kindness will prevail.

Not Complaining

Not Complaining

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Somehow, there is still moisture in the sky, and rain in the air. It’s falling now in gentle sheets, greening the new leaves and the grass and the weeds, making us feel more hemmed in than we already do.

Not that I’m complaining. There’s a roof over my head, and the basement doesn’t flood every time it rains, only in downpours. There’s electricity so I can turn on lamps in the morning (something I’ve very much needed to do this gray day).

And in the kitchen, just steps away from where I now sit (on a comfy new couch, I might add), there is more food than we know what to do with.

So I will take this rainy day, embrace it and even (in my own way) celebrate it. Because that’s where we are now … or at least it’s where I hope to be.

(Sunrise on the Mekong … from the vault.)

Still There

Still There

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Yesterday, I escaped again. This time to walk with another daughter, in an inner rather than an outer suburb —an old neighborhood with houses tucked into hillsides. The iris had popped there, and the dogwood and azaleas have bloomed longer than usual this year, thanks to cooler weather, so they were still in fine array. The flowering trees gave each house and yard the enchantment they deserved.

I’ve said this often (here and elsewhere), but the Washington, D.C., area is at its most beautiful in spring — and this year spring has lasted months.

This particular walk took us to the bluffs above the Potomac River, where we clambered on rocks and rain-slicked trails, through tunnels of foliage colored an eye-popping green. How lovely to be in that place in that moment. How good to have gotten out not once but twice (both for valid reasons, I feel I must add — for exercise and food drop-offs), to see a little more of the world that’s out there. It’s a good reminder, six weeks into quarantine, that it will all still be there when we emerge.

The Land of Other

The Land of Other

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Yesterday I escaped home and yard for a brief sojourn in the Land of Other. The Land of Other is not some mythical place far away. It is simply any place other than my own.

I hadn’t been in this land for two weeks, and it felt good to be there. It’s not that I mind being home all of the time. Mostly I don’t. But as the weeks wear on, and family members remain tantalizingly close, I can’t help but visit them.

Interactions were brief and mostly took place outside. There were two long walks, three frisky dogs, a daughter, a brother and — at the end, a box of take-out fried chicken.

Simple pleasures, deeply enjoyed. The Land of Other — it’s still out there. And knowing that makes me uncommonly happy.

Sweet Normalcy

Sweet Normalcy

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Okay, I take back what I said about yesterday. It wasn’t a “not so super Tuesday.” It was a surprisingly pleasant Tuesday, and went a long way toward removing the sense of existential dread that has been dogging me of late.

It gave me hope that someday we might have sweet normalcy again — a time when civility rules, when I’m not afraid to read the newspaper, and eventually, when it’s permissible to shake hands or cough discretely into a tissue.

Normalcy is always underrated until it goes into hiding. But today I sat on Metro appreciating the ride and the sunshine streaming into the car when it was above-ground. And now I look over at the nondescript office building outside my window, watching a reflection of the planes taking off at National Airport. And I think that normal hasn’t looked this good in a long time.

Picturing Food

Picturing Food

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I’m not one to photograph the food I eat, though I know for some it has become second nature, what passes for a blessing in this secular age. And isn’t there a similarity, after all?

When we photograph, we pay attention. We study the subject, frame it, seek the best angle. And isn’t this a type of gratitude, an attentiveness that elevates the meal from just a quick downing of protein and carbohydrates into a ritual?

Maybe this takes it a bit too far. But picturing our food means we preserve it, means that long after I’ve eaten and digested these greens, they live on in memory.

Many Loves

Many Loves

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On a day dedicated to love, I think of my people and of love’s many faces. Of romantic love and parental love, the love of friends.

I think about the love we have for those who are gone, and the love we have for animals. The love we have for place, for movement, for moving through space, which I celebrate on these pages.

So many loves we are given. Loves that light the way. Even when we don’t see them, they are there.