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Suitcase at Rest

Suitcase at Rest

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I’m a bit compulsive about unpacking. Usually within hours of arriving home I’ve emptied my suitcase and filled the laundry hamper. This trip was no exception. It’s not that I want to move on; it’s the opposite. I want to see what I’ve collected. 

On this trip there were ceramic tiles and carved olive wood. There were books and teas and a box of six pasteis de nata, the national pastry of Portugal, bought from a chaotic coffee counter in the Lisbon airport. 

But mostly, I return with memories, impressions, ideas. It was my first trip to the continent since 2010, and I’d forgotten how much I love the way Europeans live, the scale of their houses and streets, the pace of life that includes time for a coffee break, which, given the size of Portuguese coffee cups, doesn’t take long.  The way they live with less in one way (smaller cars, tighter spaces) but more in others (an appreciation for beauty and the
past).  

My suitcase is empty. My mind is full. 

Old House

Old House

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Whenever I’m in Lexington I make the pilgrimage and drive to the houses where I grew up. Unlike my own children, who know only this much-loved and much-battered center-hall colonial, I had three places to call home. 

My sister and I drove past one of them last month. It’s a house I lived in only two-and-a-half years, the one I returned to from college and my early work years in Chicago. But though my time in the house was short, it left a big impression. 

I’m not used to seeing the house from the back, but we drove down a cul-de-sac that gave us this view, that showed us the deck that’s been added, the trees that have grown up in the decades we’ve been gone. 

When I look at this photo, I see not just a ranch-style house with a walk-out basement and steep driveway, but the rooms inside … and the people who used to live in them. 

The Shore

The Shore

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I’m home now, looking out the window of my office, staring at the
trees that aren’t palm, the greenery that’s not tropical. 

Yesterday I took a walk along familiar streets, nodding at neighbors, noting the changes even a week can bring, the house that’s up for sale, the fall clematis that’s about to bloom. There was much rain while I was gone. Not enough to rescue the parched ferns but enough to green the grass that now clogs the mower. 

It’s lovely, it’s my home. But I miss the big skies above the palms, the limitless white sand, the confab of shore birds that hung out at a tidal flat near where I would go. I see in my mind’s eye the small crescent beach only reachable at low tide and the alternating blues and greens of the Gulf water, lighter above the sand bar. 

What a magical place! How grateful I am to have gone there again!

Outside-After-Dinner

Outside-After-Dinner

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The sound of children laughing two doors down, birds rustling and roosting in the azaleas, the clatter of plates being cleared. It’s 7:30 p.m. and as bright as day. It’s outside-after-dinner. 

To a child, this is a place of its own, magical and wild, long shadows looming where there were none at noon. It’s a place where rules are bent, bedtimes extended. 

When I was a kid I’d be excused early with cookies to go, then run to meet playmates from next door and across the street. We played SPUD and Red Rover till the streetlights came on.

For my own kids, there were long evenings catching fireflies or climbing hay bales to ride the zip line from the big oak on the Riley’s side of the yard (which is still standing) to the big oak on the Voegler’s side (which is not).

Now we sit on the deck slapping at mosquitoes, putting off going inside. There are grownup tasks awaiting us — bills to pay, emails to send.  But it’s hard to abandon the soft light and the feeling we’re getting away with something. It’s hard to leave outside-after-dinner. 

The Blocks

The Blocks

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You can stack ’em, you can nest ’em — but before little hands touch them, you must wash ’em. 

So I did that, as much as you can when the blocks are made of cardboard. And before they were barely dry, someone found them!

These are blocks that Isaiah’s mother remembers, that all our children played with — and now, our grandchildren. 

It’s a little more incentive to tidy up the basement.

Just Marveilng

Just Marveilng

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You know the days when they come, days that stand out from others not because they’ve been set aside as holidays but because they have not. They’re naturally delicious from beginning to end with no agenda other than spending time with the people you love. 

I just had one of those days. Apart from an hour or two in the morning when I finished up work tasks from yesterday, there was nothing on the calendar but a quick trip to the store. Otherwise, it was a block of time reserved for hanging out and staying in. 

By 11 a.m. the babies and their mamas arrived to spend time with their aunt and sister.  It was loud and chaotic, with gurgles and shrieks from the infants and laughter and conversation from the adults I still call “the girls.” 

Copper, revved by the unaccustomed activity, patrolled the gathering like a shark in the water, looking for plump infant toes to nibble. We managed to contain him, but barely.

Now it’s evening. The babies are at home in bed, their parents are pooped, and we … are just marveling at it all. 

(“Sock letters” welcoming Celia home.)

Getting Out

Getting Out

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It’s Saturday, time to get some food into the house. Apart from walks around the neighborhood, the last time I jumped in the car and drove away was … two weeks ago. 

Even for Pandemic Speed this is glacial. No wonder I’ve been pacing the floors on Fort Lee Street. I thought it was to stretch my legs during long work sessions. But no! I think it’s been to re-enact a more primary urge: to leave, to step out, to move from one place to another.

While some people have been hunkering down like this for months, I’ve still been going out to the grocery store and on a few other errands most weeks. And I can say that while from a germ standpoint this practice may be debatable, from a mental health standpoint it is not. 

Getting out is good for you. Which is why I plan to do it … soon.

(Sorry to say I will not be seeing this on my drive to the supermarket.) 

Bye-Bye Bassinet

Bye-Bye Bassinet

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The bassinet reminded me of the ones my little brother and sister slept in when they came home from the hospital. Though it’s now called “vintage,” it was merely “used” when we bought it for our first baby. I sewed a new liner in a soft lavender flannel. 

A couple days ago, when the grand-babies were in the house, the bassinet was brought down from the attic, just in case it could be pressed into service. Unfortunately … it already had been pressed into service. Squirrels or mice had made it their home. The stuffed animals that were inside the bassinet (some harkening back to my own childhood or earlier) were eviscerated. 

It was sad. I was sad. … But I was also determined that the bassinet make yesterday’s trash pickup. So I took a few photos, and the bassinet was hoisted out to the curb, actually fitting into the trash dumpster. 

Three sweet little girls took their first sleeps in that well-used nest. And who knows how many others. And now, it’s in the landfill. But the girls, they have grown up into lovely young women. And that, of course, was the point of it all. 

(Photo: Courtesy, Etsy. My bassinet photos didn’t turn out so well.)

Aural Warmth

Aural Warmth

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It’s our first frost of the season, and though I haven’t ventured outside yet, I can predict how it will feel: crunchy beneath the feet, the white spears of grass tufted and hardened, winter here before we’ve even seen the first days of December.

It was 27 when I woke up this morning — and 62 inside the house, which we are keeping cooler for various reasons, including stuffy sinuses and easing the transition from inside to outside (thus prolonging this infatuation I have with working al fresco). 

I have to say it feels mighty fine now to work inside the house, with hot air pouring from the vents, warming the air to a relatively toasty 67. Even the sound of the furnace makes me feel warm. As does the roar of the electric kettle coming to a boil. 

If warmth were aural we could do away with hats, scarves and mittens, so I know a lot of this is in my head. But they are lovely sounds just the same. 

Two Homes

Two Homes

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As the light fades, the sounds change. Instead of birds flitting through azaleas, squirrels scamper through leaves. The sound of autumn is the sound of rustling, of animals circling to find their resting places.

We humans, too, take our clues from the light. First our plants come in, then we do, too, reluctantly in the beginning but eagerly in the end. Back to these houses that are both balm and bait, which cushion our captivity with heat and comfort, with down pillows and warm baths.

Once inside, we will forget the wild world where Blue jays cry and ants crawl slowly up the pergola post. Our spirits will flag without that knowledge.

And then, one warm winter afternoon, we will sit in the sun on the top of the deck steps. We will sniff the earth again and feel stirred by the same breeze that eddies the crushed leaves. We will know then that we have two homes, and we do best when we live in both of them.