Sarah Kaufman’s book The Art of Grace begins with a paean to Cary Grant. I like Grant as much as the next person. I especially like to watch him on screen. I wasn’t sure I wanted to read a whole book about him, but that was just fine, because The Art of Grace is about much more than Cary Grant, although it holds up his charm and ease as a visual representation of the topic at hand.
Cary Grant was not only pleasing to look at, he was also easy to be with. He made others feel good — even when they spilled a glass of red wine in his lap. He was one of those people.
But we can have what those people have. Even the klutziest and most awkward among us can become graceful, Kaufman says. And while the best way to understand what she means is to read her book, there is a cheat sheet at the end. I’ve been referring to it often:
1 Slow down and plan, there’s no way to be graceful when you’re rushing.
2 Practice tolerance and compassion, take time to listen and understand.
3 Make room for others—on the sidewalk, at the bus stop, etc.
4 Strive to make things easy for people, even in small ways.
5 Make things easy for yourself. Be easily pleased. Accept compliments, take a seat on the bus, embrace any kindness. This is graciousness and is a gift for someone else.
6 Lighten your load, shed painful shoes, heavy backpacks, etc.
7 Take care of your body, the more you move the better you’ll move and better you’ll feel.
8 Practice extreme noticing. Look for grace where you least expect it.
9 Be generous. It’s a lovely thing to anticipate and fulfill someone’s hopes.
10 Enjoy, raise a glass, as Lionel Barrymore did in “Grand Hotel,” “to our magnificent, brief, dangerous life – and the courage to live it.”
