When my children were young I remember how pleasant it was at the end of the day to pick up toys and tidy up the house. I knew it wouldn’t last more than an hour or so after they woke up the next day, but for a few blissful hours I could float around in a state of order. 

Now that there are toddlers in my life again, I’m remembering what it felt like to live, even thrive, in the midst of complete pandemonium. There’s a letting go that is probably healthy, though it may not feel that way at the time. 

Take the coffee table. I’m sitting beside it right now, and though most of the weekend’s disorder has been put to rights, I haven’t yet re-stacked the magazines. I can still see Bernadette’s sweet face as she palmed the slick covers and slid them off one by one. What power! What glee! 

There’s a reason why the magazines are still jumbled. The better to imagine those sweet kiddos, their arms around my neck, their heads on my shoulder.